A woman has been invited to her friend's house for a holiday dinner. Her friend's dog, Sparky is sitting on the floor beside her chair. Halfway through the dinner, the woman's stomach begins to hurt. She decides to pass a little gas hoping nobody will notice.
"Sparky, GO AWAY!" shouts her friend's husband.
"Great!" she thinks to herself, "He's blaming it on the dog, so I can let it all out!"
She lets out a little more gas.
"Sparky, I SAID GO AWAY!"
At this point, the woman lets out a real nasty one.
"SPARKY, SERIOUSLY, GO AWAY BEFORE SHE SHITS ON YOU!"
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